Valentine Firsts

I love Valentines Day. I always have. Its my favorite time of the year (yes that includes Christmas).  I guess its because I love hearts. I love it because its celebrating love. Not just for a specific person, but for me, its also about Gods love for us.  *For the record I refuse to participate in the "single awareness day" crap, that is a loners way of justifying a pity party if you ask me.*

I remember one year when I was in elementary school. My mother was trying to do something nice for us kids by sending our valentines to school. Well for some stupid reason I thought my bear, balloon and card was meant for my teacher. So I gave it to her. Silly me.  My mother after finding out what I did gave me another later. Since then I have always looked forward to February. The Valentine boxes, the Valentines, the candy, the hearts, pink & red, the romance for when your older. Everything. 

The reason I say this is because this is a year of firsts. Amys is almost 4 months with that its her first Valentines Day.  Its Lukes first school year so he made his first valentines box and handed out Ninja Turtle Valentines and suckers. It was good. However the over-achiever, craft person in me wanted to go above and beyond.  To do a fantastic valentines box. Luke even knew what he wanted. (We Pinterest together alot). I wanted to help him do handmade valentines for his class mates and teachers. I wanted to make this year memerable, for me at the very least because chances are it will be forgotten by them. 

With each passing day the "its not going to happen" feeling sunk in a little deeper.

 The stress of nursing a baby every 2 hours, the extra school work Luke has to do to catch up, the unpacking and cleaning, his bithday, Dennis working and school. It just couldn't fit in, so like most moms, we settled. It was heartbreaking for me. Luke didn't mind, he mostly likes just spending time with me. In my mind I had failed. I posted on facebook my disappointment and most were understanding. Some told me I wouldn't hurt if I didn't have expectations, and others said there will be other years. 

While I can't guarantee them remembering this. I will. I will remember "failing." That will be my motivation to work harder next year and for the future after that. I wont, I refuse to lower my expectations because its easier thing to do. I refuse to let down my kids because I had to do dishes or go get groceries. I only want the best for my kids and I will do my best to do that. I don't doubt that I may get hurt again, but its worth the risk.  All that aside, we had a nice day. Breakfast in bed, spent the day together as much as we could, then out to eat with Dennis to the best sea food around, Blue Bay.  

Our Valentine from God

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Luke and his valentine box

Breakfast in bed after a rough night with the baby

Red Velvet Heart Pancakes-YUM!

From Dennis, I gave him his favorite chocolate