Opening Up

Dear Y'all,

Growing up I remember in elementary school wishing my parents would volunteer or be on the PTA. I don't know why this struck such a strong chord with me. I felt like I wanted my parents involved with my school and what I was doing, at least more than what they were. In high school my mother, my oldest sister and my brother attended my dance recitals, graduations, church award ceremonies and such important events. The involvement pretty much ended there. Maybe I was just greedy, but either way that's how I felt and I felt strongly about it. I never mentioned this to anyone because I felt guilty about it. I knew my father and mother were working hard. My father was sick and passed away my senior year of high school.

A blessing given to me in my young adult years told me (among other things) that I would have a desire and take part in influencing of things around me. It went on to say that it would be in my community, schools and neighborhood in gentle but firm way.
 
Other than the endless hours (over the span of my life) that I have volunteered for our church, I haven't done any real volunteer work, until now. Its not that I was against it, I just always had other priorities that I felt came first. I tried some at Lukes last two schools. It didn't really pan out due to a few different reasons, that wasn't always my fault. It never came to together the blessing and this long lost desire.

Since we have moved here Wingate Elementary has made it almost convenient for me to help out. It started out with just chaperoning the kids on various field trips. After one of them they asked if I was willing to do more. I agreed as long as I could get someone to babysit Amy.  Each time they have asked me something has worked out so that I could be there. This wasn't any small amount either. Someone close to us has been willing to watch her for free, Dennis randomly had the time off of school/work or my mother in law could come down.

The more I have done it the more I love it. Different activities such as shelving books, organizing the book fair flyers or being a EOG testing proctor aren't as fun as the zoo but its still been rewarding. The staff has come to know me. The parents in the PTO and I have become friends. It actually is a little bit of a shock to me that knowing the PTO parents because I haven't spent much time at all in their meetings. My emphasis has been during the school time hours. During school hours Luke is busy so I only had to worry about accommodating Amy. I feel like I have cast a wider net than just my church community.

 This has never happened to me before. It is a complete change. I feel like I am opening myself up in ways I never have been. A part of me is a little anxious about it. It was especially bad in the beginning, I worried about being accepted for who I was and my beliefs in Christ. While we do live in the 'bible belt' people here have a variety of religious beliefs such as Jew and Islam. The majority I would say do have a belief in Christ. I've never been the popular one and I'm still far from one but I feel like I am apart of something important. I feel like my time is valuable, I am valuable to more people than just my husband and my kids.

I wouldn't go so far as to say I have been important influence in anyones life accept for my kids. I would say though that I feel like I am a better person because of my volunteer hours. My hours of volunteering is minuscule compared to others, especially some at Wingate Elementary. Either way I feel like I have made a difference in myself.  In a way (maybe far fetched) because I am different that alone has made a difference in my community. I don't think its a coincidence either that babysitting has worked out either. I think God needed me here to help. I think he knew the desire of my heart, understood that it could work with his will and thus created the path for me to do help.

I am relieved and sad to see the school year end. I am glad things are moving forward. I am anxious to get Dennis through school and have that be over with. I am sad though that our kids are growing so fast. I feel like he is missing so much right now.  Its only temporary, it will be worth it but it is still a hard thing to swallow and move on.

Hope all is going well with you! Love,
S

Luke is comforting to Amy

Dear Y'all

Its ant season and our yard is infested with Fire Ant. Our landlord is too stingy to pay a professional and it seems everything we have tried they always keep coming back. I'm so sick of spending money on a place we don't even own. What worse is all of us feel trapped inside because the we can't spend every moment at the park.

Today we went out to wait for Luke to come home from school. Our steps were crawling with the fire ants and they immediately started attacking Amy. Her foot (with shoes on) starting swelling immediately and prompted terrified painful cries from her. After removing the Ants I ran her inside and administered the appropriate medicine and some ice. She handled it like a trooper.

When Luke got home she cheered right up. She welcomed Luke home and he noticed the ice so I explained what happened. I could tell on his face that he was empathetic. He gave her his kindle and sat next to her. When she was done playing with that they watched some TV together.  She sat on the couch for an hour with the ice on her foot just chillin' with Luke.

After all that Luke decided that Amy would like a drawing. He got some construction paper out and his favorite markers. He drew everything he could think of that Amy likes. Mini/Mickey Mouse, Batman, Superman, Maui (from Moana), a cat, Bubble Guppie, our neighbor Zay and me. He gave it to amy and she loved it so much she decided she wanted to color herself. We moved her to the table and put her feet up and Luke let her color with his markers.

It amazes me that they get along so well. Luke has such a wonderful, loving, caring heart. I hope this is one thing that stays with him his entire life. I love that he loves his sister so much. I am filled with joy that these are my children. I couldn't ask for a better son!

Love ya,
S

FHE (Family Home Evening)

Dear y'all,

Every Monday evening we hold a FHE with our kids.  Anyone is invited but most of the time it's just us.  This has been directed by our church leadership to help strengthen the family. Adding a spiritual message, songs and prayer re-enforces our beliefs in Christ in our home.

We can add an activity sometimes a special dessert, both if we really want or none at all.  The point is to spend quality time together. Electronics are only used to access music and scriptures. We don't answer it, text anyone, check social media  or play games as that would deminish the quality of time. We have done this for every monday for most of Luke's life. Apart from occasional visit to family, which we count as FHE anyways.

Last night was a little different than our normal routine. We had a lesson planned,  songs picked out (ones they practice in their classes at church) and I even had dessert planned.

Luke had the day off in honor of Memorial Day. Dennis had to work all day so we visited/barbecued with family on Sunday to honor those who sacrificed all for our country. The kids and I played together nearly all day. Lego's, playdough, coloring, going over letter/numbers, playing with toys in their bedroom just to name a few activities.

When Dennis came home Monday we got dinner taken care of and as usual FHE is directly followed. I helped Amy out of her toddler booster seat and not missing a beat gives me a hug and kiss her adorable young voice rings out  "come, let dance!" She darted to the rug and starts twirling. Luke doesn't even respond he immediately follows her and started moving. No music, no background TV sounds. The only thing that was heard was the sound of their feet and the squeaks they caused in the floor below them. As they moved giggles erupted from them and only encouraged them to move forward. Luke starts singing one of his favorite Weird Al songs titled,  "Yoda." Amy having heard this song many times sings along "...oda....oda."

Normally I would try to settle them down
and start the FHE but something inside me was different at that moment. Instead of starting the usual way I decided to turn on our favorite playlist on my phone, and hooked it up to the speakers. We made up dances as the songs changed. Slow songs meant we took turns slow dancing. At first it was just Dennis and I, while Amy and Luke tried to rock out to the slow beat. Then Luke took Amy's hands and they slow danced together.

The next song was "Chicken Fried" by the Zac Brown Band. We decided to do a Ring Around the Rosie style and every time he sang the words 'chicken fried' and 'love' we sat down. They absolutely loved it. The next few songs we just twirled and rocked. The next slow song it was Luke and I, Amy with Daddy. It was time to get ready for bed when I noticed we had completely forgotten about the formal FHE.  I was sweaty and tired so we decided that counted for this week. We didn't even remember to eat the dessert I planned.

It was fun seeing their happy faces. I loved seeing Dennis hold Amy as they slow danced together.  My heart is full of love for them. I love being their mom. They are precious children of God. I have a feeling we will never be able to 'just listen' to "Chicken Fried" again. I wouldn't trade last night for anything.

Love Ya,
S

Cute dog at 3:00am

Dear y'all,

Amy sometimes has hard time sleeping under Luke.  We have many things to accommodate Luke and Amys sleeping arrangements. Luke is an incredibly light sleeper. We have a fan going all night to create "white noise." He also has a particular small pillow (he named 'soft pillow') to cuddle with and to help him relax . Amy doesn't like to cuddle with any toy/object while sleeping. She needs to have pants on (verses shorts) because she hates covers of any kind and she will get cold if she wears anything else. Luke still tosses and turns quite a lot and when Amy has allergies or a stuffy nose it makes it hard for her sleep. Which was the case the night before last.

It was 3:00am when she walked in our room and as always she comes to my side of the bed even though Daddy's side is significantly easier to access. I usually can tell she enters by hearing the small shuffles her feet make on the carpet. Her head and chin barely making above the mattress of our bed.  Her polka dot red/white, Mini Mouse pajamas and her blonde curly hair in messy pig tails highlighted by a faint moonlight shining through the window behind her created an adorable silhouette.

This would be a normal site in my drowsy state but this time it was different. Something about this scene was off somehow. As she walked in through the door, I couldn't tell what is was. At first I thought it was my drowsiness creating hallucinations.

As she finally made it around, I started to see clearer. As my vision perfected her cute little toddler voice spoke up, "Mommy, look, doggie so cute!"  I saw her snuggling the stuffed dog my neice, Reagan, gave Luke when he was born, 8 years ago. It's white with red ears and a red spot around the tushy with red continuing down the tail. It's face and body are covered in red hearts. The front paws hold a white and red heart that says 'sweet.' After I acknowledged the dog being cute her innocent voice said, "I wuv it!" (I love it).

I never want to forget that image. My heart melted seeing her clutch this stuffed animal. She has seen this dog many times but in this moment she took comfort in this animal made it so sweet.
She continued clutching it all night and played with it all morning (before church).
I highly doubt this will be a regular occurrence. Especially since after church and last night it seems the dog had served it purpose for now.

I love my family. I'm so blessed to have these children. I'm so grateful Heavenly Father gave these precious souls to raise.

Love ya,
S

Loving their laughter

Dear y'all,

Its been in the 90's here. The kids wanting to enjoy the sun has become more and more of a burden because of the heat and humidity. I've let them enjoy time with the sprinkler but they've asked, begged and even taunted me to join them multiple times.

I eventually caved. I'm sure all the young,  beautiful, skinny students in the student housing across and down the street (and many of them driving passed) shuttered or closed their blinds at the site of me playing in the water in my bathing suit. Despite all that,  I wouldn't change it. We dumped little water pitchers full of water on each other. Amy being to little to actually "dump and run" so I let her dump me with water. After seeing me do it, Luke got down, willingly (and happily) subjected himself to her bucket of cold water. We jumped over the sprinkler, we just did whatever crossed their minds. Each time I earned a giggle or roaring laughter. After a short while the lawn became muddy (as I had predicted) and filled with yucky bugs. Their disappointment showed distinctively in their faces. After a quick rinse, I offered the tub inside as a mini pool (they kept their clothes on). They loved this idea.  So I filled it up bubbles and all. They enjoyed the rubber ducks, plastic fishes and such bath time toys.

I've never heard such a heavenly sound then of my children's innocent laughter. Luke doing silly, simple things to hear Amy laugh. Amy tried to copy him which made him laugh.  This must have gone on nearly an additional hour and a half once inside.

I think I understand a bit more of Mathew 18:1-5. Where we're to become like little children. Being forgiving,  kind,  and trying to understand, are initial reasons people explain how to become child like. I would add loving.

Luke loves hearing Amy laugh. He loves to make her happy.  He will kiss her owies, hug her good night,  he says good morning sweetums (daddy's and his nick name for her) and expresses that he missed her whenever he feels that way.  He helps her up and down, he plays with her. He assists her with anything he can. He warns us if she's doing something dangerous and he genuinely cares for her.

 

The sound of their innocent laughter is evidence of love. I love the sound of their laughter. It fills my soul with delight and such happiness. I feel like I'm on cloud nine when such happiness radiates from them. It's the kind of laugh where you can't help but smile and laugh. The kind you wish you could record but no recording would ever do it justice. I believe this is a sound even the Savior would appreciate. The sound of pure love.

Love y'all,
S

Chicken and Big Bad Wolf

Dear Y'all,

This morning Amy took my bowl of oatmeal and started feeding it to me. She doesn't usually eat in the morning. A sippy of chocolate milk usually fills her enough to last till a snack then lunch. Today apparently she wanted my breakfast. Throughout the time she would take bites and give a bite to me. She then would praise me with a "high five or a good girl." Dennis was there and taped most of it. If your friends with us on Facebook go find it.

Amy loves stories before bed. She has a couple she is currently favoring. I imagine soon she will move on to the next one whatever it is. These stories have ranged from Mickey/Mini Mouse to Goldie locks. The typical stories 2 year olds hear. Between the bed time stories, play time, Little Einsteins & Bubble Guppies (TV/Netflix). She has quite and imagination.

She has been loving the Three little pigs and the Big Bad Wolf. Mostly the sounds of the pigs and the huffing/ puffing and blowing part of the Bad Wolf. A lot of our play time has included some sort imagined acting improv of the Big Bad Wolf huffing and puffing then blowing away the other (she insists we take turns). Sometimes the other is cast as themself or any animal she can think of pig, dog, cat, horse or tonights case a chicken.

She put her hands on the side of my face and forced me to look squarely at her. She explained to me, "You, Big Bad Wolf." She makes the huffing puffing sounds then continues, "I,  chicken." She then makes the cutest 'bock,bock, bu-ock' chicken noises I have ever heard. I tried and failed to contain my laughter.She put her hand under her arm pits and started walking back and forth making her chicken sounds. Playing along I said, "Yummy,  chicken dinner" and proceeded to play around. She quickly interrupted and said "No,  you Big Bad Wolf. You blow me away."  After a hidden giggle I blowed and she pretended to fly backwards.

Tonight's bed time stories she choose for the umpteen time were , The 'Hiccup'otimus followed by Duck and Hippo. After her two stories she gets a story told by me. She usually requests something in them, tonight request was a princess and a volcano... Which (to my pleasure) by the end she was too sleepy to tell me how awful my made up story was. 

Luke never delighted in me reading to him. This made me a bit sad but it never really bothered me. We had plenty of books and I read to him as often as he would permit. Amy though has brought a new meaning of reading to my life. Luke had to fall asleep to either a movie or later I learned music/cd/playlist of his favorite classical compositions.  Usually something like John Williams Superman, Star Wars, etc. The fact that Amy, a toddler, is out with two books and a crappy verbal short story amazes me.

Luke was learning to read when Amy was born. I had him/he wanted to practice reading to her. As she's grown Luke has come to notice Amy's love for books and now tries to show interest. He still often tries to read to her. He now asks for a verbal story from me. To my dismay he is usually still awake by the end. I swear I think he delights in telling me all the flaws or laughs at them. Hahaha.

A side note... Luke was looking for a Non-Fiction book for his homework. After 5 minutes of indecision he asks "Mommy, can I just read a story out of the scriptures for homework today?" Lol. Oh how I wish it was that simple. 

I love these kids.  My Heavenly Father knows what I needed.

Love y'all,
S